Onwards and upwards from here

We are home!!!!!!

After 3 months away in Penrith and Erina/Terrigal (Sydney) for work, we are finally home. 

Its time to celebrate!

This was our view from our hotel room in Sydney on our last night before we flew home. Pretty cool huh. Nixie was obviously very excited. I think she dreamed of fireworks "Boom boom, twinkle twinkle twinkle twinkle...' :)

It's a relief to be home in many ways - things I wont go in to on a public blog. Let me just say that as I had written about in an early blog post - social media makes it so easy to portray a very different image to what the reality is. By all appearances in our pictures it looks as though we have had a wonderful time - the reality is far from this unfortunately.

For our family's health and sanity it was definately the time to come home.

Since coming home though it was straight in to bathroom reno's. We had peeling paint in the shower that had to be stripped back, sealed and fixed while we had the opportunity of the bathroom being dry for 3 months. We bought some paneling for the walls and a new spout and shower hose - small changes to make a BIG difference to our grotty bathroom. When we have some time and money we really need to properly renovate the bathroom - but this was a cheap, necessary temporary fix that makes a world of a difference for now! I am so looking forward to a shower tomorrow night - I've been having sponge baths for 5 days now... eeek. I really gotta wash my hair. /:-/

While Simon was renovating the bathroom I have been sorting out Nixie's room. She and coconut #2 will be sharing a bedroom!
Introducing coconut #2:

So - I have been cleaning and moving and fiddling about. I have yet to steam the wall paper border we have on the wall which Nixie has so kindly picked at.........
Once I see what is underneath I will decide if I put a new border up or paint the room - Mum? Wanna help? :)
She now has a king single bed which she will be using once I have found some bedding and a guard rail so she doesn't fall out.
Her room looks much nicer now that I have moved storage boxes out and made a very small play area in there for her too. I moved the baby swing out and next thing I know I find Nixie like this, so pleased with herself:

I can not believe she will be turning 2 this month!

Last night she did her first poo in the potty too (sorry for those that think this is TMI - but this is my blog). She must be happy to be at home too and has settled right back in. She came running to me last night (just before bed) saying "poo poo". I asked her if she needed to go she says "yes" I ask her if she wants to use the potty, normally she runs a mile when I ask her this, she says "yes". So we go to the potty (she has two) and I go to put the toilet seat on the toilet for her and she says " no no laughing potty". She wants the little free standing Elmo one. So we plonk her down on the potty and proceed to have a very lengthy conversation amidst many pop offs about all the different animals that do poo poos. It's getting quite a deal past her bedtime, but I don't want to rush her because it seems as though this time she will go. Finally, success! She was so pleased and we are so proud, haha

So, now that we are home and settling back in - its onwards and upwards for us. Moving on from the negative and hoping and praying for an amazing second help of the year. We have so much to look forward to - birthdays x3, baby, Christmas, new year, bring on the good times. So happy to  be back with family and friends again too!

xxoo

Exploding hearts

I had [;)] to do a little clothes shopping today with Nixie - boy that was a full on shopping trip, haha. The shop I went into is a gorgeous little boutique with lots of fragile gift wear too... hmmmmmmmm Thankfully the shop assistant was really lovely and took Nixie 'shopping' with her to find clothes for me to try on while I was in the change room. Nixie had a ball! All is well that ends well and I ended up with some great new things, yay for the preggers tummy!

I just have to say how much I love little miss Nixie and how much I love being a mum. Life is more full on, but oh so much more enjoyable and fun with children. I am so excited to meet our new little one in November too and I just know life is going to be even more crazy and busy and fun and awesome!!

It's going to be an amazing Christmas and summer with a new little family to celebrate all life's experiences with!

Loving the beach:

I LOVE this next pic and think it would be amazing 'blown up' and framed!

Mummy and daughter - so much PINK!

xxoo

Sleeeeeeep Pleeeeeease

Okay, now here is a prime example for you of only portraying the happy life via social media - warning warning warning - 

Here is a beautiful happy pic or 2 from the weekends activities:

The reality of the WHOLE day of Saturday - Nixie was not well and cried and was miserable ALL DAY, it was extremely stressful and tiring. She did not sleep well during the night and I DO NOT cope well without sleep! Sunday morning I woke up feeling like absolute POOP and looking like this:

after spending quite some time Saturday doing this along side my teary, upset, tired, sick daughter:

We did not go to church as I could not function. Really! I am in a sorry state and on the verge of tears for the whole of today so far - thankfully Nixie is back to her normal happy self and singing and laughing - not me though... I am VERY fragile. Nixie has been so very sweet though and it does help to lift my spirits a little and help me to realise being a mum is still ok...

I was having a little cry from absolute weariness. Nixie came and sat on my lap with the most concerned look on her face and cradled my face in her hands saying "mummy sad, mummy crying" and then proceeding to list some of the things that must make her happy such as marshmallows, teddy cookies, balloons, babushka dolls etc and then "mummy happy now?" It truly was sweet but unfortunately for her just made me cry all the more - didn't I tell you I don't cope well without sleep and that I was feeling very fragile?

Lets leave on a positive note though so here is a pic from a fun morning of play dough play during the week:

and here is a snippet of Nixie singing that makes me happy :)

It's not the end of the world today (well not yet anyway) so life goes on and I am ok as I have a great husband to do life with! It's just certainly not all roses, rainbows, sunshine and smiles.

xxoo

Little copy cat/parrot

Oh Nixie makes me laugh so hard some days. 

Just the other day I was trying to find Simon so I called out a couple of times "Simon, Simon", next thing I hear Nixie is yelling at the top of her voice "Simon, Simon, Simon" and the more I laughed the louder and more extravagant her voice became. It was so cute to hear her calling her daddy by his name. Then just last night while I had Nixie sitting on the bench with me while I made her dinner, I called out "Hun...?" to only have a little voice next to me yell out "Simon, Simon, Simon" 
Its very funny to have her mimic at times. We will be talking away in the car to have her respond to us or copy us with what we have just said. I laughed to Simon and said that she certainly has no trouble with her language to hear her say "no problem with language". Its quite extraordinary to hear her say such large words with no effort...

I did teach Nixie sign language when she was a baby. I started when she was only 3 months old knowing full well I wouldn't get any signs back for some time. I figured it was only going to help me with routine if I started quickly. I think Nixie was 9 months or so when she did her first sign to me and it was 'eat' I think - I'll have to check back in her baby memories book to be sure. I remember being so excited that she was signing to me and I know it helped a lot with her communication, helping to prevent tantrums and crying and maybe it has also helped with her language as well. So after 'eat' became a norm and the others started to flow very easily. She learnt words such as; eat, drink, more, please, thank you, up, down, swim, ball, book, sleep and many more. As she started talking she slowly dropped the signing as it was no longer necessary. Although she does still (at nearly 2) sign for 'drink' and 'more' if she really wants those two ;). I will definately be doing the same with the next bub as I feel it was so beneficial.

I should give Nixie a little more credit with things she says too. About a week ago she woke in the night crying. I went in and gave her a cuddle and tried to put her back in to her cot (porta cot, as we are travelling) but she 'chucked a spack' and would not go in. I thought her teeth must be hurting her as she is getting her 2 year old molars. So I asked her what was hurting, thinking she would point to her mouth and say her mouth. But she pointed to her bed and said bed hurts... I checked her blanket quickly thinking maybe she had a prickle or something in the blanket that was spiking her but found nothing so I thought she was just trying to work out what to say to keep from being put back to bed. I ended up laying in the spare bed with her for the remainder of the night. The next night Simon went in to her 30min or so after we had put her to bed and she was crying and saying the same thing "Bed hurts" thankfully Simon thought to check the bed properly and found that the flooring of the porta cot was all kinked up - poor kid - it would have been terribly uncomfortable and I felt bad that I had not given her more notice, thinking she was just being sneaky... I should know better than that knowing what she is like. Now she hops into bed and says "Daddy fix it" and happily goes off to bed :)

I'll have to try and get a video of Nixie singing "twinkle twinkle" it is so sweet. She is also quite keen on "I'm a little tea pot" doing all the actions and that odd nursery rhyme "this old man" She loves having me sing these to her and always wants "Jesus loves Nixie" before she goes to bed - she even joins in on this one a little at times.

We have spent a lot of time together as a family over this long weekend and it has been so lovely as Simon has been doing long hours and its wonderful to have more time together. 

Plus it is so nice to have some help with Nixie during the day at times. I've been feeling quite tired and drained this last week of my pregnancy. I'm not sure why. Its probably a good thing that I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to get a referral for our 20 week scan. 20 weeks - finally!!!!!!!!!!! I can not believe we are only just hitting the half way mark. I feel like it should surely be 3/4 of the way through. I'm sitting here with quite a noticeable baby bump now - I'm sure it doesn't just look like I've eaten too much haha.

Maybe I'll get around to taking some bump pics soon.

xxoo

Nobody has the 'perfect' life

Funnies for you on a Thursday! I LOVE this little video of Nixie - she truly LOVES salmon! I think she was around 19 months here!

Always reminding myself to not sweat the small stuff and to not take things personally and to just take each day at a time. 

Its easy to look at other people's lives, relationships, families, jobs etc etc and think they have it all and they have it all together. Social media allows us to portray our lives so easily to the world and to filter out the bad so that the things people see are the funny things, the happy times and the enjoyable things we do. Truth is - that's never the whole picture. Everybody has struggles and negative things in their lives and no grass is always greener. Keep watering your own lawn to make it your green grass :)

I have a great life, an amazing husband, a beautiful little girl and another bub on the way. Life is good and I am happy. But - my husband and I still argue, my little girl is sometimes quite naughty, and I have days where I feel overwhelmed and depressed at things.

I have my struggles and I will not hide that to try and portray a perfect little life because in all honesty that does not help anyone. I've had some really difficult things happen in my life so far and I am open and honest to people about what I have been through. My honesty has allowed me to reach some people and talk so deeply with some people about life etc that most likely would have been passed by - and both parties benefit from the sharing and caring!

*sigh* this morning I had a little cry to a bunch of new girlfriends at biblestudy in the church we have joined over here in Erina NSW. 

Some days I feel like a terrible mother/person and just sharing with others allows you to see how normal we all are!!!!!

Nixie bit me this morning...

She did not want her nappy changed...

She nearly always runs away to hide when she needs to do a #2 and then runs around saying 'poopoo' when its done but not wanting her nappy actually changed.

I picked her up to change her and she sunk her little teeth into my neck like a vampire...

Thankfully it was not hard, but it was enough to make me angry that she did it and she got a swift smack on the behind for it. I immediately felt bad for smacking her. There is so much conflict going around about discipline for your children and what is the right way and should you smack your children or should you not. I am still trying to filter all the information that I have been reading and listening to so that I can determine what is right for us and right for Nixie. All children are different and need to be disciplined according to their character and personality. What I mean by that is that some children are very tender hearted and only require a stern look to be corrected, where as some children are a little more resilient and need to be given a more encouraging disciplinary action... Nixie, I believe, is unfortunately somewhat like her mother - me... I can be quite stubborn and strong willed and I see that in Nixie. I believe if a child is old enough to disobey then they are old enough for loving discipline involving a smack. I know this is going to open up a can of works for some people! There is too much to go in to to explain all I believe on this subject however if you are interested on some great literature then on this subject then I recommend the book I mentioned early in this blog "She's Gonna Blow" by Julie Ann Barnhill and also "Don't Make Me Count to Three" by Ginger Hubbard. 

Some important tips I have taken from these books:

1. Always correct/discipline your child using a comfortable and conversational manner.
2. Never discipline your child when in an angry state - take time out if necessary.
3. Remember that it would be unnatural for your child not to sin because, after all, they (and we) are all sinners.
4. Always tell your child what they have done wrong and what they can do to make it right.
5. Always hug and love your child and tell them you love them after disciplining them.
6. Never with hold affection and love.
7. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" Galations 6:9. In reference to disciplining your child - keep it up - be consistent, persistent, effective and righteous in the way you do it and "When your child is old they will not depart from it" Proverbs 22:6

Another good little tip I like to think on : Am I angry (at my child's behaviour) because my will was violated (sinful anger) or because God's will was violated (righteous anger)?

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaays...

Nixie is awesome and we hugged and kissed straight away after the bite, subsequent smack and explanation of why she was smacked! :)

Leaving you with another Nixie funny -

When saying goodnight to Nixie lately, she has been gently cradling our faces in her hands and kissing us tenderly - 3 kisses - and she wants to give all 3 kisses. If she doesn't get to plant one of them she wriggles and squirms till we get all three - one on the lips and one either side on the cheek - it is the cutest, loveliest little gesture and makes my heart melt every time! 

xxoo

Talents and gifts

Yay - at 16 weeks pregnant with #2 I have felt my first little kicks :)

So happy to know everything is going ok in there. I am going to book in for our next scan shortly which I am so excited about. I love this scan at this point in the pregnancy as you can see so much and it is comforting to get some idea of how your little one is going. For the first few months I wonder if I am still pregnant as so little happens externally... 

I wonder what kind of people our kids are going to be!?

Nixie is showing more and more of who she is every day and it is so much fun to see. I love to see the skills and talents she seems to have at this early stage. So far she LOVES drawing - so much. We bought a magnadoodle for her a couple of months back and this was such a good buy. Here she is at 19-20 months with her first happy face! Awesome huh :)

And here she is at 21 months with balloons!

She did these all by herself and Simon and I where blown away cause neither of us had shown her how to do this. We turned to see this 'amazing' art work done while we where busy with other things. After a little investigation we found out that Alan - Simon's dad - had drawn Nixie some balloons on her magnadoodle the week earlier and she had remembered and done her own version. Pretty cool I say! I think this may be one of her talents/gifts. We have some good artists/drawers on both sides of the family. My mum is very good at drawing/sketching (well she was when she was younger - I'm sure the gift is still there mum xx), I'm ok at times but Simon is very gifted in this area too. He did some amazing art when he was younger and has an extraordinary eye for detail. I know if given the time to work on this gift he would be even more fabulous! 

We are also noticing how Nixie analyses things quite intently - another Simon trait coming through. She seems to watch and learn quickly and remembers things that she is only told once and things I think are things she would not remember.

Nixie loves to hear me sing and I oblige her even though I know I do not have a great singing voice - but Nixie loves it so I love singing to her. I am hoping she gets a good singing voice; surely someone in our family can pass this on to her because it certainly isn't going to be either of her parents, haha

And while you're at it God - please give her some dancing genes too :) 

I love this little video of Nixie singing - its a little hard to hear what she is singing but she was singing 'Twinkle Twinkle little star'... 

My lack of singing talent used to really bother me but I have discovered an unusual freedom of singing with my daughter and I no longer let it worry me!

Be free, live free, act free and enjoy the small things!

xx

Conversations with my baby

Nixie constantly amazes me at the things she does, the way she understands things and the words she says. She is only 22 months and already talks so much. She has been talking well since at least 18 months and talking in sentences for a couple of months now too. I love that I can have a conversation with her now and we understand each other (most of the time). This morning I asked her if she could say a rather difficult word, I'm trying to remember what it was now, oh yes - antibacterial - and she blew me away by actually saying the word correctly. It was soo sooo soooooo cute!

I remember distinctly when I realised Nixie understood more than I gave her credit for. She had just started walking so I think she must have been about 14 or 15 months. I was trying to get dinner cooked one afternoon and she was all over me and I was getting so frustrated at my inability to get anything done as she wanted to be picked up all the time and was continually tugging at my pants.
I turned to her and angrily said "GO AWAY" and pointed into the lounge. Next thing I know she toddles off to the lounge room with a sad little face. I got such a stab of sorrow in my heart at my actions that I immediately dropped what I was doing and went over to her to apologise to her and give her a cuddle. From then on in I was so much more careful with what I said. She knows!

So many times in the car she has mimicked something I have said and had me in fits of laughter.
She turned her little eyes on to mine in the rear view mirror a couple of months ago and said to me "Eyeballs are watching yooo-oou", and she says it with this gorgeous little sing song voice I nearly drove off the road laughing with her. 

Her little cheeky personality is really starting to shine through and I'm getting glimpses of who she is. She loves to make people laugh and will keep doing something or saying something if you laugh.

Just yesterday after placing her order at the coffee shop "babyccino please" the lady said she wouldn't be too long but just had to make someone a smoothie first. I said no worries only to have another little voice pipe up - "No worries", it certainly makes you smile :)
How much do little ones love their babyccinos huh! (and marshmallows) :-0

Here is a cute little video of Nixie saying grace before her dinner. She blew me away a couple of months ago when I sat down with her to say grace for her. I always say to her "Hold my hand and close your eyes while we say grace". I would then say grace and she would repeat "Amen" at the end after me. This time though - while I waited for her to hold my hand and close her eyes she jumped right in and said "Thank you Jesus". It was so special. Now she says nearly the whole lot, she just misses out the bit "please bless it to my body" but that will come - its a long sentence! Check it out:

xxoo

I am beautiful! You are beautiful!

I would not consider myself a beauty. If I was to come across something like this video I will link below then, I would probably go through the average door. 

Dove Choose Beautiful Women all over the world make a choice

Beauty is more than skin deep though and I know that true beauty comes from within. I am so conscious of the things I say and the way I act around my child as I do not want to assist in the unfortunately almost inevitable fact that Nixie will at some stage go through doubts of her own beauty and worth. If I could prevent this then I would - so I am doing my best to let her know how beautiful she is and also what true beauty is.

What is true beauty?

What matters is not your outward appearance - the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes - but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle gracious kind that God delights in. 
1 Peter 3:3-4 (MSG)

Inner beauty shines through and creates a beautiful person no matter the appearance.
How beautiful are people with smile lines? This shows an inner happiness that can not be faked! I hope to grow old with lots of smile lines! Outer beauty fades with age if that is all you have - cultivate inner beauty for eternity.

The power of words is incredible and I am so conscious of the things I say especially around little ears. Words create a reality. I tell Nixie she is beautiful, talented, smart, funny, lovable, gorgeous - and you know what - SHE IS! She has a lovely warm smile that draws you in and so many people comment to me about how cuddly she is. She will go up to you (when she gets to know you) and say"cuddles". The other day after leaving her in the creche for an hour while at the gym she turns to the carer and says "Mummy come back, mummy cuddles and kisses". Ohhhh melt my heart.

You are beautiful.

I am beautiful!

xxoo

She's Gonna Blow!

Every parent thinks their children are gifted right? Well - I am one of those parents who thinks their child is, haha. I have very little experience with children, I've never been one to baby sit other peoples kids and I had never changed a nappy before I had Nixie. I was wondering what kind of parent I would and am surprised at the parent I am.

The love you have for your child is incredible isn't it!

I would do anything for Nixie to ensure her safety and well being and if anything was ever to happen to her I think I would die (or at least want to die)...

The good things that I have discovered about being a parent is the unconditional love you have, the joy in life again and reliving your childhood; in a way. I have so much fun experiencing things through Nixie's eyes and I am learning to slow down with her and allow her to experience life in her way. But this has been a hard lesson to learn.

I have quite a temper I have discovered and I can be very impatient. Having a child has taught me so much about myself and helped me to realise that some things need to change. I was feeling like a terrible mother because I would lose my temper at my child when I should be extending her grace, it scared me in a way that I did not want Nixie to act like me at all. It was time to get some help as I just was not making the changes I so desperately wanted to make no matter how much I wanted it. In desperation I turned to the internet to see what other mums where doing and came across a great chat room where a wonderful book was recommended. I went straight out and bought it -"She's Gonna Blow" by Julie Ann Barnhill. BEST BOOK EVER!

After reading this book I immediately didn't feel alone anymore in my struggles and I started making the changes I needed - the thing I am finding that helps the most is dedicating time to God EVERY DAY - spending time reading God's word and talking with Him is helping me get my attitude right and my priorities in the right order. Gosh I am still struggling with keeping my cool but I am well on my way to being a better mum.

I had the best child hood growing up with amazing loving parents who where actually quite strict with me and my brother but I never remember being scared of them with the discipline we received and that is my hope with Nixie and the other kids we hope to have. #2 is on the way and I pray every day for this baby's safety and health.

On a funny side note - this is how we let everyone know Nixie was going to be a big sister:

Its going to be an amazing Christmas and summer with a new little bubba and making our family a family of 4!

Ok - time for me to do some things with the remaining time of Nixie's day nap, thank goodness she still has this nap 75% of the time :)

xxoo

Its been a long time...

... since I've blogged!

I have been reading quite a few mummy blogs since having a baby (nearly 2 years ago now) and we are now 4 months into the next pregnancy. Everytime I read the mummy blogs I regret that I have not started a blog of my own to record things - funny moments, pictures, events, things kids say, things kids do and just general things to remind me of what I have done and what has worked vs what has not worked etc etc. I have a brain like a sieve and struggle to remember things and I DON'T want to forget the early years of having kids especially with #2 on the way and knowing how much busier life is soon to become.

So - without further ado - I shall introduce my first born, the stealer of my heart - Nixie Eve :)

Nixie is such a joy! I can not imagine, and would hate to think of, life without this gorgeous little girl. 

Being a mum has taught me so much about life in general, about myself, relationships, how I deal with things, how to be a lover of life again and be spontaneous.

I have been stretched and pulled in ways I never thought and I have cried, yelled, been angry (angrier than I have known how to deal with) but also so happy, content, loved, I've laughed till I have cried some days...

Hmmm - right now there is a little voice coming from the bedroom "mummy cuddles, mummy cuddles..." Its 845pm... she has been in bed since 7pm but happily talking quietly till now. The talking is getting louder and so is the "mummy cuddles"...

Now I have a teething sleepy toddler on my lap while I type as she is not happy. I am trying to just go with things more these days, don't stress the small stuff so much. My plans frequently go out the window these days as well as things I want to do because I have this little human who changes things ALL the time, haha. Don't stress the small stuff. I appreciate the cuddles and the fact she wants so many and I wont deny them to her as I know that someday she wont be as cuddly or want so many, that will be a terrible day!

Well, this post is getting cut short, probably a good thing as I can ramble some days! 

I'm off to bed with my little cuddle monster as I highly doubt she will go to sleep without some serious cuddles tonight.

xxoo